My December To-Do List

I can’t help my excitement about wintertime this year. Since that first day in Atlanta when the air had teeth, visions of sugar plums have been dancing in my head. Perhaps it’s that I had two back-to-back trips planned to cold places – Chicago for Thanksgiving- or perhaps it’s that Thanksgiving is a week later than usual this year, I’m so impatient for Christmastime.

I know I’m not the only one who is reveling in Yule anticipation either. From the Facebook status updates wistful and longing for the beauty that comes with the coldest time of year to my favorite paper Creative Loafing’s hilarious DIY Atlanta Christmas suggestions, folks seem more than ready for the most wonderful time of the year.

So for all of you out there that can’t help but grin at the Christmas songs already playing in some shops, and those of you feeling more Grinchy, here is my to do list for December to help celebrate and get you in the spirit of the season. I would welcome company so if any of these strike your fancy, let me know. I’d also love to hear other ideas!

• Ice-skating outside – either in Atlanta at Centennial Park or Chicago at Millennium Park.
• Go to an Evil Santa party.
• Decorate a giant Poinsettia (my tree tradition) at my Atlanta home.
• See David Sedaris’ Santaland Diaries at the Horizon Theater.
• Consume lots of creamy after-dinner drinks. Think Baileys on the rocks, Grasshoppers, White Russians. Maybe Tequila Rose on New Years Eve.
• Abstain from the rampant seasonal consumerism and make as many of my Christmas gifts as possible.
• Listen to Twisted Sister’s Christmas album, aptly title “A Very Twisted Christmas” while wrapping gifts. The best is their version of the 12 Days of Christmas – “On my heavy metal Christmas my true love gave to me a tattoo of Ozzy.”
• Shovel snow with my mom at night while flakes land on our already wet-gloved hands.
• Sing the Alleluia Chorus of Handel’s Messiah in harmony with my siblings on Christmas Eve.
• Go to Binny’s (the local booze store) with my Dad to shop for our New Year’s Eve Party. “One of each, good man!”
• Make a million kinds of cookies with Sandy.
• Make a Christmas/winter-themed playlist.
• Stare at hundreds of Christmas lights every day.

And finally, my only Christmas to-don't:
• Not slip on black ice and break my elbow like I did last year.

Little Help? The Greatest Thanksgiving TV and Movie Moments

I'm really getting in the spirit of the holidays this year y'all. This is my partial list of greatest Thanksgiving TV/Movie moments of all time. I know I'm probably missing a million- little help? So far I have only 6 and 2 are from Addam's Family Values. What? It's my blog.

1. Wednesday Addam's soliloquy stopping the Thanksgiving feast in Addams Family Values:

Wednesday: Wait! We cannot break bread with you.
Amanda: Huh? Becky, what's going on?
Becky: [whispered] Wednesday!
Wednesday: You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, you will play golf, and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, "Do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller."
Amanda: Gary, she's changing the words.
Wednesday: And for all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.

2. Charlie Brown making toast instead of turkey in A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving:

Charlie Brown: I can't cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.
Linus van Pelt: That's right. I've seen you make toast.

(later) Peppermint Patty: What kind of Thanksgiving dinner is this? Where's the turkey, Chuck? Don't you know anything about Thanksgiving dinners? Where's the mashed potatoes? Where's the cranberry sauce? Where's the pumpkin pie?

3. Grandpa Simpson's explanation of the Walking Bird (The Simpsons "Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy"):

... Anyway, about my washtub. I'd just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as a walking bird. We'd always have walking bird on Thanksgiving with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called "baseball"...

4. Pugsley Addam's "Eat Me! I'm a Turkey" song from Addam's Family Values (as part of Gary's vision of course):

Camp Children: Eat us! Hey, its Thanksgiving Day! Eat us, we make a nice buffet! We lost the race with Farmer Ed, eat us 'cause we're good and dead. White man or red man from east, north or south, chop off our legs, and put 'em in your mouth!
Pugsley: Eat me!
Camp Children: Sautéed or barbecued!
Pugsley: Eat me!
Camp Children: We once were pets but now we're food! We won't stay fresh for very long! So eat us before we finish this song! Eat us before we finish this song!

5. The Friends Episode when Monica puts a turkey on her head to cheer up Chandler:



6. Beverly Hills 90210: Brandon Walsh decides to invite Jack, a homeless veteran, to his family's house for Thanksgiving dinner. Jim, Brandon's dad, is a bit wary ("Did you ever see such a literal interpretation of the Golden Rule?") but then gives in when a bath and fresh clothes let the real, respectable Jack shine through.

7. The Family Guy episode when they spoof what John Goodman's family would look like at Thanksgiving:

Lois: You know some people would be happy to have this food, like John Goodman's family.

8. The Ice Storm, the Thanksgiving angst scene where Ms. Ricci has yet another diatribe about the plundering and pillaging of the red man by the white man:



9. and thanks to William's suggestion, pretty much all of Planes, Trains and Automobiles as Steve Martin and John Candy try to make their way home to Chicago for Thanksgiving. A ton of great quotes are here.

10. And from Mica, Home for the Holidays:



11. From Kori, the Thanksgiving episode of Everyboday Hates Chris when Chris gives a speech to his class about how he is grateful that he is not Native American:

12. From Tiffani, the infamous Gobble episode of South Park: