1. Wednesday Addam's soliloquy stopping the Thanksgiving feast in Addams Family Values:
Wednesday: Wait! We cannot break bread with you.
Amanda: Huh? Becky, what's going on?
Becky: [whispered] Wednesday!
Wednesday: You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, you will play golf, and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, "Do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller."
Amanda: Gary, she's changing the words.
Wednesday: And for all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.
2. Charlie Brown making toast instead of turkey in A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving:
Charlie Brown: I can't cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.
Linus van Pelt: That's right. I've seen you make toast.
(later) Peppermint Patty: What kind of Thanksgiving dinner is this? Where's the turkey, Chuck? Don't you know anything about Thanksgiving dinners? Where's the mashed potatoes? Where's the cranberry sauce? Where's the pumpkin pie?
3. Grandpa Simpson's explanation of the Walking Bird (The Simpsons "Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy"):
... Anyway, about my washtub. I'd just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as a walking bird. We'd always have walking bird on Thanksgiving with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called "baseball"...
4. Pugsley Addam's "Eat Me! I'm a Turkey" song from Addam's Family Values (as part of Gary's vision of course):
Camp Children: Eat us! Hey, its Thanksgiving Day! Eat us, we make a nice buffet! We lost the race with Farmer Ed, eat us 'cause we're good and dead. White man or red man from east, north or south, chop off our legs, and put 'em in your mouth!
Pugsley: Eat me!
Camp Children: Sautéed or barbecued!
Pugsley: Eat me!
Camp Children: We once were pets but now we're food! We won't stay fresh for very long! So eat us before we finish this song! Eat us before we finish this song!
5. The Friends Episode when Monica puts a turkey on her head to cheer up Chandler:
6. Beverly Hills 90210: Brandon Walsh decides to invite Jack, a homeless veteran, to his family's house for Thanksgiving dinner. Jim, Brandon's dad, is a bit wary ("Did you ever see such a literal interpretation of the Golden Rule?") but then gives in when a bath and fresh clothes let the real, respectable Jack shine through.
7. The Family Guy episode when they spoof what John Goodman's family would look like at Thanksgiving:
Lois: You know some people would be happy to have this food, like John Goodman's family.
8. The Ice Storm, the Thanksgiving angst scene where Ms. Ricci has yet another diatribe about the plundering and pillaging of the red man by the white man:
9. and thanks to William's suggestion, pretty much all of Planes, Trains and Automobiles as Steve Martin and John Candy try to make their way home to Chicago for Thanksgiving. A ton of great quotes are here.
10. And from Mica, Home for the Holidays:
11. From Kori, the Thanksgiving episode of Everyboday Hates Chris when Chris gives a speech to his class about how he is grateful that he is not Native American:
12. From Tiffani, the infamous Gobble episode of South Park: